Monday, January 30

Guru Har Rai Sahib

Guru Har Rai (January 31, 1630 – October 20, 1661) is the seventh of ten living Gurus of the Sikhs.

Gurdwara Kiratpur Sahib, birth place of Guru Har Rai Sahib

He was born at Kiratpur.

Guru Har Gobind Sahib

He received his name from his grandfather, Guru Har Gobind Sahib.


He was the son of Baba Gurdita Ji and Mata Nihal Kaur Ji(also known as Mata Ananti Ji). He was married to Mata Kishan Kaur Ji(Sulakhni Ji), daughter of Sri Daya Ram Ji of Anoopshahr (Bulandshahr) in Utter Pradesh.

Ram Rai

He had two sons: Sri Ram Rai Ji

Guru Har Krishan Sahib

and Sri Har Krishan Sahib Ji (Guru). He also had a daughter named Bibi Anoop Kaur Ji. He had one elder brother Dhir Mal. Dhir Mal turned out to be disloyal and disobedient. He had some influence in the court of Mughal Emperor and was in communication with the Guru’s enemies. When Guru Har Gobind moved to Kiratpur, Dhir Mal with his mother remained at Kartarpur and took possession of the Guru’s property and the priceless original copy of the Adi Granth. He thought that as long as he had its possession, the Sikhs would look upon him as their religious leader. Dhir mal refused Guru’s invitation to come to Kiratpur on his father’s death. Guru Har Gobind nominated Har Rai, younger brother of Dhir Mal, as his successor before he departed for the heavenly abode.

Guru's Army

Guru Har Rai Sahib loved peace but he never disbanded the armed Sikh Warriors (Saint Soldiers), who were earlier maintained by his grandfather (Guru Hargobind Sahib). He continued to maintain a cavalry of 2,200 soldiers of his grandfather throughout his Guruship. He further boosted the military spirit of the Sikhs, but he himself never indulged in any direct political or armed controversy with the contemporary Mughal Empire. Once, on the request of Dara Shikoh (the eldest son of emperor Shahjahan), Guru Sahib helped him to escape safely from the bloody hands of Aurangzebs armed forces during the war of succession.

Guru Har Rai

Guru Har Rai visited Lahore, Sialkot, Pathankot, Samba, Ramgarh and many places in the Jammu and Kashmir region. He established 360 Sikh ‘missionary’ seats called Manjis (after the small cot (manji) used by the Guru’s representatives). He also tried to improve the old corrupt Masand system and appointed pious and committed personalities, such as Suthre Shah, Sahiba, Sangtia, Mian Sahib, Bhagat Bhagwan, Bhagat Mal and Jeet Mal Bhagat (also known as Bairagi), as the heads of Manjis.

Scene after attack of Mohamad Yarbeg Khan

Once Guru Sahib was coming back from the tour of Malwa and Doaba regions, Mohamad Yarbeg Khan, (son of Mukhlis Khan, who was killed by Guru Hargobind Sahib in a battle) attacked the kafla of Guru Sahib with the force of one thousand armed men. The unwarranted attack was repulsed by a few hundred Saint Soldiers of Guru Sahib with great courage and bravery. The enemy suffered a heavy loss of life and fled the scene. This self-defense measure, (a befitting reply to the unwarranted armed attack of the privileged Muslims) is an example for those who profess the theory of non violence. Guru Sahib often awarded gallantry awards to various Sikh warriors.

Grandfather Guru Har Gobind Sahib telling Har Gobind (Guru) to Tread with care not to hurt the flower like soul

As a young child, he was disturbed by the suffering of a flower damaged by his robe in passing. Guru Har Rai often recited the following couplet of Baba Farid, which suggested that the great Sikh Guru considered compassion as the highest divine virtue in a man:-

“Hearts are jewels,
Distress them not,
Those who distress no heart
Seek the beloved God,”

Guru Har Gobind Sahib fighting with a lion

His grandfather, who was famous as an avid hunter had saved the Mughal Emperor Jahangir’s life during a tiger’s attack. Guru Har Rai continued the hunting tradition of his grandfather, but he did not allow animals to be killed during his grand Shikars. The Guru would go hunting; capturing animals he would care for them and give them treatment. When the animals were healthy and fit they would be released into the animal sanctuary or wild.

Guru Har Rai Sahib in a Herbal Garden

Guru Har Rai learned the medicinal properties of herbs. He founded free hospitals, herbal medical clinics, animal sanctuaries and beautiful herbal gardens.

Scene of Kiratpur at the time of Guru Har Rai

Guru Har Rai developed Kiratpur sahib as a town of parks and gardens. Located on the banks of tributary of the Sutlej, he planted flowers and fruit bearing trees all over the area. This created a salubrious environment, attracting beautiful birds to the town and turning it into an idyllic place to live in.

Guru Har Rai giving medicine for cure of Dara Shikoh

Aurangzeb wanted to succeed his father Shahjahan’s throne. Therefore, he administered tiger’s whiskers in a dish to his eldest brother Dara Shikoh, who became seriously ill. Astrologers, pirs and fakirs were called, all known charms, spells and incantations were tried but to no avail. Wise men were assembled together and they came to the decision that until the tiger’s whiskers could be removed, there was no hope of a recovery. They were of the opinion that if two ounces of chebulic myrobalan (scientific name: termininalia chebula; known in Ayurvedic medicine as Aralu, credited with having laxative and stomachic properties) and a clove weighing one masha were administered, his health could be restored. The Emperor searched everywhere for the ingredients but they could not be find it . His Prime Minister, who had heard of the Gurus’ fame, was informed that the required medicine was available at the Gurus’ hospital and research centre at Kiratpur. Although the Emperor was hostile to the Guru, yet as the Guru’s house was a mine of sympathy and compassion for all, there was no doubt that he would grant the articles required. The Emperor humbled and sent a letter to the Guru. The Guru was pleased that the Emperor had confidence in him as to write such a friendly letter, and consented to give the required medicines. “Behold,” said the Guru, “with one hand man breaks flowers and with one hand offers them, but the flowers perfume both hands alike. The axe cuts the sandal tree, yet the sandal perfumes the axe. The Guru ought, therefore, to return good for evil.” The ingredients were weighed and it was explained that these medicines would cause the hardest substance taken to be digested. To these ingredients, the Guru added a pearl which was to be grounded and used as a subsidiary remedy. The Emperor was naturally pleased and forgot all his enmity with the Guru. The medicine was administered and the result was a fast and complete cure.


Kiratpur was Guru Har Rai’s permanent seat. Disciples and visitors came to seek blessings and instruction at this place. The Guru kept the daily practice of his predecessors. The institution of langar, community eating, continued to flourish. Guru Har Rai chose himself the simplest fare which was earned by the labor of his own hands. In the morning, he sat in the sangat and explained the Sikh doctrine. He did not compose any hymns of his own, but often quoted those of his predecessors in his discourses. He advised Sikhs to labor honestly and to cheat no one. He stressed the importance of early morning worship and scripture, implying that whether or not words could be understood, hymns benefited the heart and soul. He admonished rulers to govern mercifully without oppression, attend only to their own spouses, abstain from drink, and be always available to their subjects. He suggested that they see to the people needs providing wells, bridges, schools, and religious ministry.

Sikh Sangat asking questions to Guru Har Rai Sahib

One day the Sikhs asked the Guru whether those who read the Gurus’ hymns without understanding them derived any spiritual advantage from it. The Guru gave no reply at the time. Next morning, he went hunting. En route, the Guru came across a broken pot which had held butter. The rays of the sun were melting the butter on the broken pot fragments. The Guru took one of those fragments in his hand and said that, “As the grease adhered to the pot, similarly the Gurus’ hymns affect the hearts of his Sikhs. At the time of death, the Gurus’ instruction would assuredly bear fruit. Whether understood or not, it has within it the seed of salvation. Perfume is retained a broken vase”. The meaning of the parable is that who so ever reads the Gurus hymens everyday shall assuredly achieve peace, even though he may not fully understand the same, God will undoubtedly assist him. Guru Ram Das has said:-

“The Word is the Guru, and the Guru in the Word, and in the Word is the essence of ambrosia.”

Guru Har Rai Sahib

A devout Sikh called Bhai Gonda used to stay with the Guru. He was a saint in thought, word and deed. Guru ji was pleased with his sincere devotion and asked Bhai Gonda, go to Kabul to instruct the Sikhs of that place to worship the true Name, to preach the Sikh faith, feed holy men and pilgrims with the offerings received and to send the remains to Guru for the upkeep of the Lanagar. Although Kabul was a foreign country and there was danger from Muslim bigotry living at that place, Bhai Gonda cheerfully accepted the task . On arriving at Kabul he built a Gurdwara and followed Guru’s instructions. One day, while Bhai Gonda was reciting the Japuji Sahib, he felt as if he was clinging to the Guru’s feet. He was in such a state of abstraction that he became unconscious. He was absorbed in the presence of the Guru like a drop of rain in the ocean. The Guru was aware of Bhai Gonda’s state. He sat firmly on his throne keeping his feet together. At mid-day, when the food was served, Guru did not respond. When the request was repeated after an hour later, he still remained silent. After a long interval, the request was repeated, but the Guru did not reply. Several Sikhs gathered together and were about to make a representation to the Guru, when he finally spoke and explained that Bhai Gonda is in Kabul had clasped the feet of the Guru. How could he remove the same and take his food? He informed that he was waiting for the conclusion of his meditation and obeisance. Bhai Gonda did not awake from his trance before twilight, and it was the time when the Guru felt free to take his meal.

Children beating their stomach like drum in front of Guru Har Rai

Once a man called Bhai Kala brought two of his nephews to the court of Guru Ji. The boys were called Sandlu and Roopa. Both of them played on their stomachs like on drums. Guru Ji was delighted and granted them estates. Later their descendents formed the princely states of Patiala and Nabha.


Guru Har Rai Sahib faced some serious difficulties during the period of his guruship. The corrupt massands, Dhir Mals and Minas always tried to preclude the advancement of Sikh religion. After the death of Shah Jahan, the attitude of the state headed by Aurangzeb towards the non-muslims, turned hostile. The Emperor Aurangzeb made an excuse for the help rendered to prince Dara Shakoh by Guru Sahib during the war of succession and framed false charges against Guru Sahib and summoned him to Delhi.


Ram Rai appeared at the court of the Emperor on behalf of Guru Sahib. He tried to clarify some misunderstandings regarding Guru Ghar and Sikh faith created by Dhirmals and Minas. Yet another trap, which he could not escape, was to clarify the meaning of the verse “The Ashes of the Mohammadan fall into the potter’s clot, it is molded into pots and bricks, and they cry out as they burn”. Ram Rai, in order to please the emperor and togain sympathy replied that the text had been needlessly corrupted by some ignorant person and replaced the word Musleman with word Beiman (dishonest). (The actual meaning of the verse is that the human soul is not bound to the physical structure or the body of a person. The physical material of the bodies of both Hindus and Muslims face the same fate and it is a universal truth. The soul leaves the body immediately after the death and it does not remain in the grave waiting for doom’s day. And the earth consumes the body-material in due course of time) It is a rational and scientific view of Sikhism. It was also reported to the Guru that Ram Rai had also worked miracles in the Mughal’s court against his father’s direct instructions. Sikhs are constrained by their Gurus not to believe in magic, myth or miracles.

Guru Har Rai Sahib

Due to this reason, Guruji excommunicated Ram Rai from the Sikh Panth and never met him, through the later pleaded repeatedly for forgiveness. Thus Guru Sahib cautioned the Sikhs against any alteration of original verse in Guru Granth Sahib and the basic conventions set up by Guru Nanak Sahib.

Guru Har Krishan

Knowing that the his end was near, Guru Har Rai Sahib installed his younger son Har Krishan as the Eighth Nanak and passed away on Kartik Vadi 9 (5 Kartik), Bikrami Samvat 1718, (October 20, 1661) at Kiratpur Sahib.

Friday, July 15

you know why i love you,,????????????

I can be myself when I am with you.

Your idea of romance is dim lights, soft music, and just the two of us.

Because you make me feel like, like, like I have never felt before.

I can tell you anything, and you won't be shocked.

undying faith

Your undying faith is what keeps the flame out of love alive

You and me together, we can make magic.

We're a perfect match.

Thinking of you, fills me with a wonderful feeling.

Your love gives me the feeling, that the best is still ahead.

You never give up on me, and that's what keeps me going.

You are simply irresistible

I love you because you bring the best out of me.

sense of humor

Your terrific sense of humor

Every time I look at you, my heart misses a beatheart

You're the one who holds the key to my heart

You always say what I need to hear (You are perfect).

You have taught me the true meaning of love.

Love is, what you mean to me - and you mean everything.

You are my theme for a dream.

I have had the time of my life and I owe it all to you.

When I look into your eyes, I can see your heart.

Your love for me is a natural anti-depressant.

by my side

I love to hear your voice.

Your love has helped me to rediscover myself.

Your love is an effective anti-dote to despair.

I love to wake up with you by my side...It makes my days better.

You always make me feel that you are by my side no matter what.

I love that feeling of being secure when you wrap your arms around me.

I love the way you keep your cool when I do something stupid.

Just being with you feels like I can defy the whole world.

You mean the world to me.

I like your small gestures that speak volumes about how much you care.

arms around you
treasure of love

I love the way you treasure the gifts that I gave you.

I love the way you patch up with me after a tumultuous fight.

And, of-course, your intelligence, 'cause you were smart enough to fall in love with me ;-)

Friday, March 18


January 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 22, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30
(16th and 29th is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

February 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 25, 27
(14th is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

March 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 18, 20, 21, 22, 24, 26 ,27, 29, 30, 31
(30th is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

April 2, 3, 5, 9, 10, 14, 16, 17, 22, 24, 25, 27, 30
(14th is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

May 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 13, 14, 15, 18, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 27, 28, 29, 30
(13th and 28th is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

June 2, 3, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29
(12th is Nirjala Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

July 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 15, 16, 17, 18, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 28
(11th and 26th is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

August 1, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 24, 31

September 2, 4, 8, 9, 10, 28, 29
(8th is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)
September 13th – September 27th Pitr Paksha ( Weddings are NOT performed in this period)

October 7, 8, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 22, 23, 29, 30,
(7th and 23rd is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

November 3, 7, 12, 13, 14, 19, 21, 23, 27
(21st is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

December 1, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 17, 18, 25
(6th is Ekadashi so the wedding food must be non-grain)

Friday, February 11


The interest in India as a wedding destination has greatly grown in recent years. These days, not only do foreigners want to get married in spectacular venues all across the country, Indians do as well! The most popular locations for destination weddings in India are the authentic palaces of Rajasthan, and beaches of Goa (and now Kerala). This thing was missing in Punjab region before hotel Cabbana being fully equipped with all the facilities to accommodate this, strongly came up with this one of its kind concept in the region called as the dream wedding destination

Not to be confused with an elopement, a destination wedding is one in which a wedding is hosted, often in a vacation-like setting, at a location to which most of the invited guests must travel and often stay for several days. Wedding is not just the matter of one day it is an elaborate process, which involves various rituals and customs. And also various ceremonies hence the number of halls we have, provide variety and a different charm to make your event memorable.

The venues we have at Cabbana:-

§ The Poolside Lawn accommodating up to 2000 people

§ The GBR lawn to accommodate up to 1500 people

§ The Grand Ball Room to accommodate 900 people

§ The Silver lounge to accommodate 350 people

§ The GBR 2 hall to accommodate 200 people

§ The Senate to accommodate 100 people

§ The Pyramid Grills to accommodate 100 people

§ The Fusion to accommodate 50 people

With its commitments towards being the best 5 star hotel in Jalandhar, Cabbana Hotel has maintained the best of amenities and luxuries like Gymnasium, therapy, rooms, sauna facilities and Jacuzzis.

WHY hotel cabbana:

§ Your one stops shop for theme weddings and multi cuisine lavish menus and stalls.

§ The architectures, scenic beauty and landscaping adds extra charm & Uniqueness to your event.

§ Strong network to offer you various specialties from different cities of India.

§ A Five star touch with personalized attention to enhance the ambience.

§ Comparatively cost effective.

§ We help you to figure out the best service providers of your town in all aspects.

§ High professionalism and dedication even beyond your expectations.

§ Covering every aspect of wedding and giving The Cabbana touch to it.

§ Ensuring that all the dealings with client and suppliers are carried out with integrity and honesty and complete transparent manner.

We will plan for your Dj, wedding cards, photographers, videographers, wedding designer outfits and jewelries and are there to assist you with all your wedding related question marks including deciding on the budget of the wedding, venue for different functions, the themes , flowers, decoration, menu, rooms , the wedding feast, stage or mandap décor, and numerous other things which a professional company could understand .

At Cabbana we know it’s a Wedding of your Dream! It is an experience, which will be unparalleled, take our word for it!

Assuring of our personalized attention at all given times

Amanpreet Singh


Our expertise covers all the aspects of Events:

Planning, Management, Coordination and Execution

We deliver cost effective events without compromising on the final output.

Tuesday, October 5

we indians rock......want to kno why????

We Indians are easy to identify!

We are like this only So true, lets start the list

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport. 4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam,
Kamini & Shamini.)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen!!

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (may of which you got free with purchase of other stuff)

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker and a pressure cooker.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old.

23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you
whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

26. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

27. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

28. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.

29. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you suddenly discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

30. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when
making foreign calls.

31. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

32. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 700 people.

33. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

34. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

35. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

Friday, September 17

MORE Lies Girls Have Told us


"I don't go out on many dates..."

Lie. This one immediately sets off my bullshit detector. Why the hell do girls say this all the time? What do they want, my sympathy? I recently had the misfortune of talking to a girl that claimed she rarely went on dates.. yet every night of the week she goes dancing and hangs out with dipshits at the club. Hmm... going out, hanging around with guys.. sounds like the equivalent of a date to me, jackass.

"These new pants are giving me a rash between my legs..."

Lie. No, your inability to keep your legs closed for five minutes is giving you a rash between your legs. There's a girl I talked to that told me this; she said that she couldn't go dancing because she had a rash between her legs:


It just so happens that she's a super-bitch too. I'll just call her Crotch-Rash for short (to conceal her identity--not that it matters, anyone can follow the trail of nasty-nast she leaves behind to find out who she is). Maybe if Crotch-Rash didn't jump on everything that moved, she wouldn't be in the situation that she's in. Silly Crotch-Rash, pull your head out of your ass.

"I think you're really cool, let's hang out some time..."

Lie. This one translates to "I have no intention of calling you or hanging out with you, but I'm too much of a coward to tell you the truth, so I'll lead you on for a couple of weeks while you put your life on hold for me in case I actually stop being the indecisive bitch that I am and I give you a straight answer." Like I don't have anything better to do than to sit around and wait for your dumbass to call me. I'm so sick of inconsiderate hags that act like they're doing me a favor by gracing me with their BORING-ASS conversations on the phone. Tell you what super-bitch, just forget it.

"I like everything when it comes to music..."

Lie. Oh, you like everything? Great! Since you like all music, we'll listen to what I want the whole time. Dipshit. I hate even talking about music with girls because more often than not, if it's not something off of the latest top 10 on the radio or some new-age hippy bullshit, chances are that she's never heard of it. Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you derive your own taste in music and stop listening to the trendy shit on radio stations for a change. Just for the record, anyone that listens to NSYNC has problems, seriously. Who the hell in their right mind would listen to NSYNC? If you see NSYNC in your friend's CD collection, that should be a warning flag that says "STAY AWAY." Crotch-Rash listened to NSYNC and look at what a bitch she turned out to be.


"All I want is a nice guy that will make me feel special, that will listen to me and love me forever..."

Lie. She left off the part about "and a guy that will have plenty of raunchy sex with me because that's all most girls are really looking for, but we're too shallow to admit that to you because we want to keep this 'virgin-girl' image we have going on and we don't want to sound too slutty, so we're going to pretend that all the nice guys we've met so far haven't fit the bill when in reality, they've treated us infinitely better than any guy we could ever hope to meet at a club downtown." I've said this before and I'll say it again:


I know there are SOME out there that do.. the ratio of honest girls that want nice guys to sleazy girls that are in it for money and sex is very small, if not non-existant. However, I won't consider this possibility at this time.

Almost every guy that goes to a club goes there for one reason: ass. More often than not, they get it. Way to go champ, you got laid, now wipe off the disease and try your luck again. That's all they want and girls aren't so stupid as to not realize this, but they want to make it sound like they're perpetual victims that can't find the elusive "nice guy." Why don't you actually TRY LOOKING for one, you moron? That's like a guy trying to find a "nice girl" by cruising the streets downtown. You tread the grounds of prostitutes, so don't complain that all you have to show for it is a yield of whores. I'm so sick and tired of girls giving the false impression that they want a nice guy; this is only true for women in their 30's that have already spent a decade getting their brains screwed out and now they're finally pulling their heads out of their ass and they're looking for a decent guy to settle down with. It's not going to happen moron, you blew your chance. I see girls fall for bad guys every day. I see girls abused, cheated on and insulted in public ALL THE TIME. What the hell is wrong with them? They think that there's something wild and untamable about bad guys that's attractive? WAKE UP. WAKE UP. You're getting abused, hurt, murdered and taken advantage of. Holy shit, how can people be so stupid? Is there no end to the barrel of stupid they drink from?

"I'm not really seeing anyone..."

Lie. "...except for Jack, but he's just a friend.. and then there's Charlie, but it's nothing more than sex. I'm kind of seeing Rupert on the side, but he has two kids and I don't know if I want to be tied down by kids right now.. then there's Eddie, but he's a mechanic.. oh he's so hot, but I can't settle down with someone like him because he has no future and I need commitment .. John .. Jacob .. Mark .. blah blah blah blah blah" SOMEBODY TURN HER OFF. You want to find a guy, yet all you do is talk about other guys. Great move dipshit. No wonder you can't find anyone. Here's a hint: quit sleeping around. Maybe someone will eventually respect you enough to treat you more than just a sex object.


"I've never had sex before..."

Lie. Unless you ignore all those times I've been felt up on dates, performed and received oral, fooled around with other girls, etc etc etc. Why do girls lie about this? It doesn't have to be coitus for it to be sex. Sex is sex. Quit trying to give people the false impression that you're innocent and pure. Just tell the truth. If you're embarassed about it and regret doing it, then you probably shouldn't have done it in the first place. At the very least, you could respect yourself by telling the truth.

"Sorry I didn't call, my uncle was sick and there wasn't a phone in the hospital and I thought that maybe your pager battery died so I didn't bother paging you to tell you to not wait for me all day..."

Lie. Translation: I went drinking with my girlfriend and my mom. Oh, you didn't know I had a girlfriend? Oh yeah, well I'm bi and we've been seeing each other on and off (in more ways than one) for over two and a half years. I guess I forgot to mention that part. True story.

Saturday, September 11

a colourful punjabi wedding.......................

The Punjabis are best known for their zest for life, vivaciousness and of course, the bhangra, know how to pull all stops when it comes to celebrating. Punjabi Wedding Ceremony is a very lively yet a simple function and is celebrated with lots of relish. The wedding ceremony consists of many rituals, which have a distinctive significance and charisma. These weddings due to their colorful manner have got a major place in Indian movies.

Match Making
Matchmaking among Punjabis strictly follows the caste and descent of the prospective boy or the girl. Punjabis usually marry their daughter and son within the community only. Though relations among different castes and communities are increasingly being accepted by them and it is admirable about them. Horoscopes are matched to see which day is auspicious for the marriage.

The wedding dress for the bride includes a Sharara, which is a long following skirt and blouse. There is a dupatta to cover the head. The groom wears a gorgeous Sherwani or a conventional salwar and kurta. But there are no rigid rules here.

Pre Wedding Rituals
There are a number of pre wedding rituals, which makes the Punjabi wedding even more colorful.

Roka Ceremony - Punjabi Wedding, Indian WeddingRoka: Roka ceremony is performed on a mutually convenient chosen date as `shubh muhurat`. Family members and close friends for basically exchanging gifts and cash attend this function. The girl`s mama (mother`s brother) gives her the nath (nose ring) that she wears on her wedding. The origin of this ceremony lies in the arranged marriage norm where the parents would let out the world that they are Rokalooking for a suitable match for their son or daughter. And once they had found that match, their search had come to an end. Though rings are not exchanged, the couple stands unofficially engaged after this ceremony. The wedding date is fixed after roka.

Sagai: The wedding celebrations begin with the tikka ceremony, held a week to ten days before the wedding (depending on the number of functions to follow) in which the family of the girl visits that of the boy`s carrying beautifully wrapped gifts and the tikka material: a silver tray with a few grains of rice and saffron in a tiny silver bowl, 14 chuharey (dried dates) covered with silver foil and a coconut wrapped in a gold leaf.

Sagan: The ceremony usually takes at the groom`s house. Sacred fire ceremony named "havan" is performed. The girl`s father applies the "tikka" (made of kesar, rice grains and flower petals) on the boy`s forehead who takes the blessing from the girl`s family members. Each of the relatives and friends present from the girl`s side then offers mithai to the boy and gives cash.

Chunni Chadana: On this occasion, the boy`s parents and relatives visit the girl`s house. The boy`s sister presents the bride a red "chunni" or a red sari. After dressing the girl in those clothes, they lead her to the venue of the ceremony where the groom`s mother gives her gifts and adorns her with jwellery. The boy and the girl exchange rings and the girl is given gifts, in cash and kind, by all those present from the boy`s side.

Sangeet: Before the wedding day after Sagan on every night till the wedding day, the relatives and friends get together for singing sessions both at the boy`s as well as the girl`s house. One day is fixed for special sangeet session, which is attended and celebrated by both the sides together.

Mehendi: Mehendi is applied on the bride`s hands and feet either by a family member or by a professional but the important factor is that the Mehendi is sent by the boy`s side as part of the kwar dhoti. Wedding Ceremony

chuda ceremony - Punjabi Wedding, Indian WeddingCeremonies at the girl`s house: The "chuda" ceremony begins with a "havan" or "puja". The oldest members of the family performing this ceremony keep a fast till chuda. The chuda, i.e., the set of cream and red ivory bangles, is not shown to the girl just before the ceremony. After the puja everybody present is supposed to touch the chuda, which symbolizes offering his or her good wishes to the girl. The bride is suppose to sit in front of the four oil lamps lit and to which the oil is constantly added so that the glow will be reflected on her face and she will look more beautiful on the wedding eve. A paste of turmeric powder and mustard oil is applied to her body and then the bride is given a bath with holy water. The bride then wears her bridal attire, which as per tradition given by the maternal uncle.

Sehra Ceremonies at the Groom`s house: The bridegroom is applied a paste of turmeric and mustard oil and is bathed by water brought by his sister in law. He changes into his wedding attire, which is presented to him by his maternal uncle. The boy`s father or an elderly relative ties the "sehra" on his head. The pink turban is touched by all present before it is died on the groom`s head. The groom then leaves for the venue.

At the venue: The bride`s family waits at the entrance to greet the baarat (the groom and his family), who reach singing and dancing. The father, brother, uncles and grandfathers of the groom embrace the corresponding members of the bride`s family. While embracing, they try to lift each other as a show of strength and superiority, amidst much laughter and cheer. When they enter the venue the bride is brought out and the couple exchange garlands. The groom, who is usually taller than the bride, is not supposed to bend while she is garlanding him, to tease the bride as if to say she is the one who would have to compromise in the relationship; he will not bend. Another game played is by placing a ring in a plate filled with milk. The bride and groom dip their hands in the plate and the one who comes out with the ring will dominate in the marriage.

As the time of the mahurat approaches, the boy is led to the "vedi" where the pundit performs puja for the boy. The boy recites the first few mantras only. This is the time for the mischievous pranksters from the girl`s side to grab for the groom`s shoes, which they later exchange for money. Thereafter the girl is led to the "vedi". Then the ritual of "kanya daan" takes place where the girl`s father puts a ring on the boy`s finger before placing his daughter`s hand in his. Thereafter the couple takes the seven pheras around the holy fire. Then the bride puts a foot on a stone as she says no matter what problems come their way, she will be stable - solid as a rock. Her brother pours kheel (a sweet) into her hands, which she pours into her husband`s hands. Just as the kheel cannot return to it`s original state of grain, neither can the bride return to her earlier state of daughter of the house.

Bidai - Punjabi Wedding, Indian WeddingOnce this is done the boy`s father sprinkles water on the newly-weds to say that if there are misunderstandings between them, he will help calm them down - not add fuel to the fire. The bride then makes a tearful farewell to her new home in what is known as the `bidai`. Traditionally she would sit in a doli (palanquin), which would be carried by the bride`s brothers. Even now some brides sit in a doli, which takes her to the getaway car, where the groom and a few members of his family are waiting to escort her home.

Post Wedding Rituals
As per tradition on her first day in her new home, the bride is supposed to make a sweet dish like halwa or kheer. The parents and relatives of the groom give gifts and presents to the bride. After that the newly wed couple visit the girl`s parents where the girl and boy are given gifts of clothes and jwellery by the girl`s parents and relatives.